The BNP need my help

It seems they are unable to spell the word “money”, because every time they send me their drivel of a newsletter they always want money. Usually it is for their “Van of truth” (which amuses me immensely) but this time it is to help them to become “the most technically advanced political party in the UK”.
So, what are they going to do to earn this esteemed title?

  1. Set up our own BNP call centre
  2. Set up the party campaign central office
  3. Purchase 18 computers/screens/software
  4. Activate our brand new central database platform
  5. Recruit more staff to cope
  6. Train all staff in new systems
  7. Set up central mailing and telephone points for party
  8. Open our new logistical distribution warehouse


  1. Call centre – Surely other parties have these?
  2. Central office – I am pretty sure other parties have these!
  3. 18 computers / screens / software – Screens? Are they going to watch TV on them? MONITORS! At least we are talking I.T. now though.
  4. Central database platform – Most likely a list of names and addresses in MS Access, which is probably a nice upgrade from an Excel spreadsheet.
  5. Recruit staff – Not I.T. related.
  6. Train staff – A good idea!
  7. Mailing / telephone points – Get an address and a telephone?
  8. Warehouse – Bob’s garage is too small for their Winston Churchill leaflets then?

If they think that is technologically advanced I had better not start my own political party, because my mobile phone is more technologically advanced than that, and it’s broken!
I love the part where he says “This is a task of almost biblical proportions”, brilliant! Nick Griffin has obviously not read The Bible! I can imagine Moses now. “Let my people go, or I will set up a small call centre with a telephone line, 8 computers with “Screens” and empty Bob’s garage!”
As usual the entire thing is full of rubbish. Don’t people realise that this party will never get into power, all they are doing is electing people into a system which will give them money for doing nothing at all?


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